Assorted Thoughts

THE GROSSING OF EN
The social problems of our time are very pressing matters. One of the biggest problems that we, as a society, face, is teen pregnancy. A prime example of the scandalous behaviour of our youth can be found right in our own neighbourhood. The question at hand is: is Stef pregnant, and if so, who is the father? Tu es strange. (This is a conclusion to the introduction.)

This matter was first raised in the Room of Broemling, when Stef "accidentally" revealed to the fabulous four that she was "with child." At least, this is how it was construed. Whether or not this was actually stated by the aforementioned Stef has yet to be discovered. All that is known for certain is that Amanda immediately repeated, quite loudly, what had been heard. It was in this way that Stef's delicate condition became common knowledge.

While she continues to this day to deny any rumours of this unfortunate mishap, there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Primarily, there is the fact that she already has a young child, whom she fondly refers to as "Roger." This proves that not only does she have experience in child-rearing, she also is prepared to engage in scandalous behaviour. It should be noted at this time that she is not married, the scallywag In addition, this very morning she was reported to have taken great interest in an advertisement for pregnancy tests. This is highly suspicious for someone in her position, is it not? Therefore, one can only conclude that Stef W. does, in fact, have a bun in the oven.

Bien sur, the next logical question in this matter isL who is the father? Unfortunately, there are simply so many possible answers to this question that it cannot be answered without a paternity test. However, as the child has not yet been born, and as potential fathers would most likely not agree to take a test anyway, it does not appear that this would be a very fruitful exercise. Nevertheless, another thoery has been proposed. Some believe that Stef has been abducted by aliens, and thus both the father and the unborn child are not human. This would also explain the unnaturally long gestation period.

Therefore, it can be concluded that Stef is pregnant, and that the father is an alien. So "the plot thickens," ("THE BOOK.") Now that this new fact has been determined, new experiments must be undertaken to discover what else Stef has been up to. Or do we really want to know? DAH DAH DAH!!!!